Courage
by gemmi999
Summary: Kurt writes Courage on his wrist, in bold black letters, washable of course. Strong and permanent, at least until he scrubs it off in the shower later. He's ready for his first day at Lima North.


**1.**

Kurt writes Courage on his wrist, in bold black letters, washable of course. Strong and permanent, at least until he scrubs it off in the shower later. Then he covers it up with a thick cuff that isn't quite fashion-forward but does a serviceable job of being both disguise and attention-grabber all at the same time. He wants to rub his fingers over the cuff, but he can't draw more attention to it. Start as he means to finish. Instead, he takes a deep breath and says: "Kurt Hummel, you are fierce."

Then he turns and walks out of his bedroom, ready for his first day at North Lima High School.

center##/center

They'd thought about Dalton for at least half-a-second, maybe even a full one, before Kurt's dad had shaken his head and said in a broken voice that Kurt never wants to hear again, ever, because he isn't sure *his* heart could take it: "I just don't think we can swing it, kiddo." There's no mention of medical bills, of moving costs, of food and clothing or any of the practicalities that are floating through Kurt's head. They don't need to, he already knows all the reasons.

North Lima High has the distinction of being free, and no Karofsky, and it's still in the same area code which means no long drives. There are a lot of positive things going for it and Kurt just has to remind himself of them a few hundred times a day. There's no Blaine, no Warblers, no singing or zero tolerance policy, but it's new and that can only mean positive things. A fresh chance.

Maybe if he tells himself that a few hundred more times he might believe it.

center##/center

Kurt's walking to his new locker, nervous and apprehensive, because so far North Lima looks so much like McKinley he half expects the same bullies to materialize out of the wall, when he sees someone. A boy, fashion forward, with dirty blond hair and skin tight pants. Kurt doesn't want to label anyone based on their clothing choices, but his fledgling gaydar is pinging pretty loudly. Loud enough that he isn't watching where he's going and suddenly all of his books are all over the ground, along with a girl that he walked into.

"Sorry, sorry!" Kurt apologizes frantically. The girl is laughing a little, slowly picking herself back up while Kurt stacks his books haphazardly. "I wasn't looking where I was going and just-"

The girl giggles a bit. "I saw who you were looking at," she teases.

Kurt feels his face blush. "Um,".

The girl shakes her head and stands up. "I'm Sydney."

"Kurt," he offers. Then, shrugging a little, he says: "I'm new here." It worked last time, even if Sydney wasn't a dapper gentleman about to take his hand and run through the hallways with him.

"Nice to meet you, Kurt." Her voice is bubbly and happy and Kurt feels himself smile a little, against his will. Sydney giggles a bit before adding: "Chandler's single, in case you were wondering."

Kurt feels blood rush to his face. "No, ah..."

Sydney starts giggling again. "You're cute. I approve."

By now Kurt isn't sure his face can actually get any brighter. "Thanks?" he says, voice trembling. He hates that his voice is trembling, hates that he feels this shy, this uncertain. Out of everything Karofsky's taken from him, Kurt misses his self-esteem the most. He looks at his wrist and sees the thick black cuff and slows his breathing down, just a tad. Courage. He can do this.

2.

Kurt officially meets Chandler two days later, when he's struggling with his locker and his bookbag and already cursing himself for taking AP French and AP Biology, because both classes meet on the same day and the books are gigantic and heavy and probably going to cause him premature back problems if he keeps having to haul them everywhere. He's in the middle of fighting his locker because the lock just isn't working even though he's entered the same combination at least four times when somebody comes up and says: "Sometimes you have to twist the lock a bunch to reset it, before they work,".

Kurt blinks in surprise because he hadn't even heard anyone approach, and he prides himself on his spatial awareness. It'd been necessary at McKinley. "Um," Kurt replies before turning around and blinking because in front of him is the guy he'd seen two days earlier, Chandler, and his hair is shiny and his smile wider than Kurt remembered.

"I'm Chandler," the blonde says, sticking his hand out for Kurt to shake. Before Kurt even has a chance to set his backpack down and introduce himself properly, the other teen is laughing and withdrawing his hand. "Here, let me help you with this before we start the introductions. My lock sticks all the time too and I know how annoying it can be."

It takes a few minutes of fumbling, during which Kurt feels his face turning red and he hates how easily he blushes, before he's able to follow Chandler's advice and get his locker open. Kurt sets his bag down and hauls the textbooks out, putting them away with a slight grimace because he knows by the end of the day he'll have to carry them (plus others) home and he really isn't looking forward to it, before he turns back to Chandler and smiles. "Thanks. I'm Kurt Hummel," Kurt says, sticking his own hand out this time.

"Well Kurt," Chandler says with a bright smile. "I'm glad to meet you" and then Chandler's shaking Kurt's hand and Kurt can feel his face light up.

"Glad to meet you, too." Kurt says a few seconds later. Then he feels his face turn bright red because he's still shaking Chandler's hand and it's been at least 10 seconds, which is a lot longer than is polite and he wants to draw it back but he also doesn't want to let go. He doesn't know if Chandler's gay but if he is then Kurt now knows at least two out guys and compared to where he was a few weeks ago that feels like a miracle.

Chandler eventually draws his hand back with a laugh. The bell rings and both boys are startled because they hadn't realized that time was still passing. "Um, I'm normally not this forward, but will you sit with me at lunch?" Chandler asks. "Sydney says you just transferred here."

"I'd like that," Kurt says. "You're gay, right?" Kurt asks a second later. "I don't normally ask that it's just I have a bad habit of thinking guys are gay when they're straight and it gets all complicated and I'm nervous and I can't believe I asked you that and-"

Chandler starts laughing loudly, cutting Kurt off mid-ramble. "Yes, I'm gay." He agrees with a delightful smile. "Your gaydar is 100% effective in this case. And mine?" Chandler asks.

"Perfect," Kurt agrees. "I've been out for awhile now."

"Me too." Chandler gestures down to his outfit. "It's hard to keep someone this fabulous in a closet."

"Well," Kurt laughs: "I was in a closet for awhile, just it had glass doors and a glass ceiling. I wasn't fooling anyone."

center##/center

When Kurt gets home that day, the first thing he does is settle into his bed and call Blaine. He can't wait to tell the other boy about North Lima, about Chandler and not being the only out teen and about how in the past three days he hasn't heard anyone call him a fag.

He's still talking on the phone with Blaine when Burt gets home. He ends the conversation when his dad knocks on the door and asks if he can come down. He hasn't really said much about North Lima to his dad yet, even though he wants to. He wasn't sure what to say.

"Sure," Kurt calls out.

"Sounds like you had a lot to tell your friend," Burt says once he's settled onto the couch.

Kurt blushes. "Yeah, just-" he takes a second. "I'm not the only out teen at North Lima. And it's nice, not being alone."

"Oh?" Burt says, raising an eyebrow. "Do I need to get my shotgun out already?"

Kurt giggles. "Not yet. I mean, he's nice but we're barely friends right now. And there's kind of this other guy at Dalton..."

Burt laughs at this. "Another guy? Just a couple weeks ago you were saying that you were doomed to be alone forever and now you have two potential guys?"

Kurt nods, happily. "I know! Can you believe it? Even if I don't date either of them! I'm not alone." He whispers this last part.

"Kiddo-" Burt says, reaching out and putting a hand on Kurt's back. "You're never alone, you have me and Carole and Finn and Mercedes..."

Kurt nods. "I know, I mean-it's just-"

"I know what you mean," Burt says. "Why don't you invite both of the boys to dinner next week? I'd like to meet them."

"I can do that."

3.

Every morning Kurt takes the time to write Courage on his wrist, big and bold and permanent until he washes it off. He's done it every day for the past year, every day since he started at Lima North, and it calms him. He'd say it centers him, but that sounds a bit too newageish for him. Instead, he focuses on making sure the letters are evenly spaced. As soon as it's in place, he covers it with a wrist cuff and says to himself: "Kurt Hummel, you are fierce."

He doesn't need the reminder anymore, feels more calm and sure of himself than before everything with Karofsky, but he likes the ritual.

Then he turns and walks out of his bedroom, ready for everything the world has to throw at him.


End file.
